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matouks_calypso.jpg Matouk's Hot Calypso Sauce
$7.50
When Bobby Flay dropped by SLOW Burn the other day (read about it here), he only wanted to know one thing: "You have Matouk's, right? Matouk's is the best sauce in the world. If you have Matouk's, you don't need anything else."

We have Matouk's!

Matouk's Calypso is a thick blend of aged, pickled scotch bonnets, mustard and pure cane sugar, the classic Barbados style recipe although this one is from Trinidad. Other ingredients include water, vinegar, salt, modified corn starch, onion powder, garlic granules, celery seed and potassium sorbate. 10 oz. Heat Level: 8


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hulagirl.jpg Hula Girl
$8.00
Jill Inforzato's first Girl Scout badge was for cooking. Some years later, she joined the Peace Corps and went to Botswana where she almost blew herself trying to teach the villagers how to cook spaghetti on a wood-burning stove. After that it was back to Hawaii where she opened a restaurant and started making (among other things) hot sauce.

Fast forward to 2003: Jill and her hot sauce make their debut at the International Zesty Foods Show in Texas where against all odds - and in full view of the Food Network's cameras - the hot sauce, Hula Girl Chipotle, sweeps the entire show of over 800 product entries to win the coveted 2004 Golden Chile award. Ingredients include Habañero peppers, Jalapeño peppers, Chipotle peppers, vinegar and salt. 5 oz. Heat Level: 8


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susies-2.jpg Susie's Hot Sauce
$7.50
At first when you open the bottle, you think, "Hmmm... this ain't so hot." Be advised: the burn has a crescendo effect. That's because Susie's unique blend of papaya and cucumber keep its Scotch bonnet peppers in a holding pattern for the first couple of seconds. This is one of the most popular hot sauces in the Caribbean. Practice for your next cruise by stocking up now. At the 2001 Texas Fiery Food Show, this sauce was the only one to win prizes in two separate categories: 1st Place Habanero Hot Sauce and 3rd Place Caribbean Hot Sauce. Ingredients include scotch bonnet peppers, cucumbers, vinegar, papaya, garden herbs, garlic, spices, modified food starch & mustard. 5 oz. Heat Level: 8
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susie-calypso.jpg Susie's Calypso Hot Sauce
$7.50
A hotter version of Susie's famous Caribbean sauce. "My mother's traditional thing," explains Rosemary McMaster (daughter of the original Susie) who runs the family business, "was to leave the seeds in the sauce because the seeds carry a lot of the heat." Watch out -- the sauce sneaks up on you. Multiple award winner, most recently at the 2002 Fiery Food Challenge where it won 1st Place in International Hot Sauce Category. Ingredients include hot peppers, cucumbers, vinegar, papaya, garden herbs, garlic, spices and mustard. 5 oz. Heat Level: 8
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muertos.jpg Día de los Muertos
$8.00
Día de los Muertos – the calendar date – is the antidote to the once cool, now unspeakably schlocky holiday Halloween. On this day, we are told, the spirits return to visit the world of the living and delight in the offerings of fruits, candles, flowers and incense brought to them by their living friends. Hot sauce is a particular favorite since the dead can only consume vapors.

Día de los Muertos – the hot sauce – is a succulent blend of habañeros, smoked habañeros, carrot puree, Piquine peppers, smoky pepper vinegar, Tequila, lime juice, onion and spices. Smoked habañeros are rare in commercial sauces – the process of smoking them is so labor-intensive what with gowning up and the hazmat equipment – so the sauce is worth sampling for that reason alone. But when you throw in the totally cool skeleton keychain... 5 oz. 2nd Place 2004 Scovie Award Winner Heat Level: 8


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no_wimps.jpg Marie Sharp's No Wimps Allowed
$9.00
From the Mayan foothills of Belize comes this hotter version of Marie Sharp's famous carrot-based habanero sauce. (It clocks in at an impressive 350,000 Scoville units according to its manufacturer.) Ingredients include habanero pepper mash, capsicum oil, fresh carrots, white vinegar, key lime juice, salt, tomato, spices, onions and garlic. 5 oz. Heat Level: 8

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belizean-heat.jpg Belizean Heat
$8.00
It's the subtle spices that makes this sauce different from Fiery Hot and No Wimps Allowed. They're not broken out in the listing of ingredients but we think we can taste the classic Creole flavors of white pepper, black pepper, celery seed, oregano and thyme. Ingredients include habañero pepper mash, capsicum oil, fresh carrots, white vinegar, key lime juice, salt, tomato, N'awlins Cajun & Creole spices, onions, and garlic. 5 oz. Heat Level: 8
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fiery-hot.jpg Marie Sharp's Fiery Hot
Habanero, carrots, fresh lime, garlic... tasting almost as fresh as if you'd picked them yourself from your own garden. This hot sauce has attained almost cult status in the twenty years since tourists began smuggling it home from Belize, and with good reason. First Place Winner for Authentic Carribean at the 2001 Fiery Foods Show. Ingredients include select red Habañero peppers, fresh carrots, onions, key lime juice, vinegar, garlic, and salt. 5 oz. Heat Level: 8


Marie Sharp's Fiery Hot $7.50
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Marie Sharp's Fiery Hot (10 oz) $13.00
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green-habanero.jpg Marie Sharp's Green Habanero
Caribbean hot sauces are classically made from peppers mixed with fruit. Here the tart dry heat of green habanero is tempered by the lush flavor of prickly pear fruit with just a splash of zesty lime. The result? A sauce that tastes quite unlike its arid green habanero Mexican cousins. Ingredients include prickly pears, green habanero peppers, onions, garlic, salt, Caye lime juice and vinegar. 5 oz. Heat Level: 8

Marie Sharp's Green Habanero $7.50
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Marie Sharp's Green Habanero (10 oz) $13.00
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marie-orange.jpg Marie Sharp's Orange Pulp Habanero
$7.50

Oranges and habañero? Just about now you're thinking, "What two things don't go together?" But here's the thing about habañero – it stages other flavors, carries them for a couple of beats before its own flavor (and burn!) kicks in. Marie Sharp's Orange Pulp Habanero is tangy heat rather than sweet heat, delicious stuff but only for the few, the proud, the food adventurists. Toto, we're not in Taco Bell anymore! Great complement to seafoods of all sorts. Ingredients include yellow habañero peppers, orange pulp, onions, key lime juice, vinegar, garlic & salt. 5 oz. Heat Level: 8


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grapefruit-pulp.jpg Marie Sharp's Grapefruit Pulp Habanero
$7.50

While most hot sauces rely on vinegar, Marie Sharp's citrus-based sauces use the acid content of your favorite fruits to carry the habanero bite. The result is a flavor unlike anything you've ever tasted before. Grapefruit pulp habanero sauce is particularly good on sushi or popcorn (diluted in a little melted butter.) Ingredients include yellow habanero peppers, grapefruit pulp, onions, key lime juice, vinegar, garlic & salt. 5 oz. Heat Level: 8

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colon_cleaner.jpg Colon Cleaner
$8.50
Admit it – you're a twisted nuck with a sick sense of humor, and that's why you're roaming the Internet late at night looking at pix of a product called "Colon Cleaner".

But guess what? This sauce – a variation on the classic Barbados yellow sauce – tastes good. Pity the poor chef who could only market it by appealing to your scatological sensibilities. Ingredients include scotch bonnet peppers, mustard, salt, onion, vinegar, tumeric & sugar. 5 oz. 2004 Scovie Awards, 2nd Place winner: Hot Sauce - Authentic Caribbean Category. Heat Level: 8


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sphincter_shrinker.jpg Sphincter Shrinker
$8.50
Another example of a marketing VeePee who ought to be hauled out and shot. (Or at least strapped down and plied with tubing.)

This sauce has a delicious flavor that would really appeal to those discriminating food-lovers who are guaranteed to be most put off by its name. The secret ingredients? Apple sauce, raisins and balsamic vinegar. Other ingredients include white vinegar, water, chile extract, spices and salt. 5.7 oz. Heat Level: 8


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scorned_woman.jpg Scorned Woman
$7.50

A true hot sauce classic, although the chilehead venerables among us still shake their heads sadly talking about the day the original maufacturer sold out to Oak Hill Farms. It's a quick heat that burns on and on. Hell hath no fury etc. The secret ingredient? Black pepper, which as all pepper purists know is not related in any way, shape or form to chili peppers. Other ingredients include vinegar, red habañero peppers, jalapeño peppers, lemon juice from concentrate, salt, & spices. 5 oz. Heat Level: 8


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pleasure.jpg Pleasure & Pain
$7.00
Pain & Suffering's twin sister. You're buying it strictly for the label but if you happen to open it, you'll be pleasantly surprised if you're a fan of cayenne pepper flavor. Ingredients include cayenne pepper, salt and oleoresin cayenne.

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psycho_bitch_on_fire.jpg Psycho Bitch On Fire
$7.45

The original Fire Girl was a pepper pioneer. Think of her brewing her fiery concoctions in the chilehead equivalent of Deadwood. (Well. Maine, actually. And the site has since been sold.) Psycho Bitch – "PMS in a bottle" – is one of those rare sauces that combines an hilarious label and a really first-rate taste. Ingredients include habañero and cayenne peppers, vinegar, salt, garlic, spice extract and xanthan gum. 5 oz. Heat Level: 8


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betrayed.jpg Betrayed
$7.00
You thought you could trust this sauce, didn't you? Well, I guess you learned the hard way. Distilled vinegar, habanero pepper, tomato paste, water, chipotle pepper, onion, salt, chives, sugar, garlic powder and black pepper are like a knife in an unsuspecting back. Heat Level: 8
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hot_brubru.jpg Brother Bru-Bru's Hot African
$7.50
Brother Bru Bru aka Bruce Langhorne was one of the most important session guitarists of the 1960s. He played on Bob Dylan's seminal Bringing It All Back Home (Dylan's 1965 transition from folk to folk) and many musicologists believe he was the inspiration for Dylan's classic Mr. Tambourine Man.

In 1992, Langhorne was put on a low salt diet. He spent long hours in the kitchen trying to come up with ways to make his meals more savory. Brother Bru Bru's sauce is the result. No salt, no sugar, no artificial coloring and no preservatives. Ingredients include vinegar, water, imported and domestic peppers, garlic, and assorted african spices. 5 oz. Heat Level: 8


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bone_suckin_sauce.jpg Bone Suckin' Hiccuppin' Hot Sauce
$8.50
This sauce gets its distinctive flavor from a blend of tomato, honey, molasses, lemon juice and natural hickory smoke, but it gets its fire from a three-pronged attack of chili, horseradish and mustard. The peppers get you in the back of your throat; the horseradish musters in your nasal sinuses. Nice! The 2003 Fiery Food Challenge Winner. Ingredients include tomato paste, apple cider vinegar, honey, molasses, mustard, horseradish, lemon juice, onions, garlic, peppers including Habañero peppers, natural hickory smoke flavor, natural spices & salt. 5 oz. Heat Level: 8

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alien.jpg Alien Anal-Probe
$7.50
Those wacky little green guys really know how to dig deep. Do not imbibe if you've watched E.T. more than six times. Avoid Roswell, New Mexico. Made from cayenne pepper, water, salt, oleoresin cayenne, starch and caramel color. Heat Level: 8
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area_51.jpg Area 51: The Hot Sauce That Doesn't Exist
$7.00

Much about Area 51 remains a mystery, but here's what we do know:
• It's made from habañero peppers, vinegar, onion powder, garlic powder and salt
• No one's ever gotten married at Groom Lake
• We all love ET. But he's tough and chewy. You need a little something to wash him down.
6.75 oz. Heat Level: 8


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lotties_red.jpg Lottie's Original Barbados -- Red
$10.00

If you've ever spent time in Barbados, you know that every street vendor makes his own special sauce which he keeps in milk bottles. Should you try to smuggle this stuff back home, the Health Department would frown. The next best thing is Lottie's. Lottie's red sauce is made from scotch bonnet peppers, vinegar, onions, salt and garlic. The riper and redder the peppers are when they're picked and cooked, the redder the sauce. 6.75 oz. Heat Level: 8


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pickapeppa-green.jpg Pickapeppa -- green
$6.50
The legend began in a nondescript factory on scenic Shooter's Hill in Jamaica where Pickapeppa Green is made to this very day. The secret to its unique flavor is a blend of tomatoes, onions, sugar, cane vinegar, mangoes, raisins, tamarinds, peppers and spices which are then aged in oak barrels for a full year before bottling. Heat Level: 8
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iguanaradioactive.jpg Iguana Hot Sauce - Radioactive
$7.50
Not that we're experts or anything you understand, but at SLOW Burn we vastly prefer hot sauces that use a carrot-and-Habañero base instead of the straight tomato purée, vinegar and [Your Pepper Goes Here] combo: carrots just plain taste better, plus they're gentler on the digestion.

This carrot-and-habanero blend comes from Costa Rica by way of the Half Moon Bay Trading Company. Yeah, it has tomato paste! But it's way down on the list. Pura vida, baby! Ingredients include Habañero peppers, Cayenne peppers and Tabasco peppers, carrots, onions, lime juice, vinegar, tomato paste, salt and garlic. 5 oz. Heat Level: 8


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beesting.jpg Bee Sting Honey 'N' Habanero
$7.50
A Thai-influenced sauce blending habanero and cayenne chilis with black pepper, corn, vinegar, sugar, lemon juice, onion, salt, corn syrup and garlic in a honey base. Heat Level: 8
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bayoufireball.jpg Bayou Fireballs
$7.50
We love the Hungry Hawg's line of Lousiana hot sauces - although we're a bit confused why the labels show crocodiles instead of pigs, and why those crocs are all displayed in various stages of Cialis withdrawal. Bayou Fireballs is Hungry Hawg's hotter sauce, blending equal parts of classic Cajun Cayenne pepper with Habanero and garlic. 5 oz. Heat Level: 8


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micanopy-hot.jpg Micanopy Gold Hot
$8.00
A very unusual sauce with plenty of heat that almost tastes as though it has curry in it. One of the best egg sauces around! 1999 Scovie Award Winner in the ultra-habanero category. Ingredients include pure cane syrup, tomato sauce, distilled vinegar, fresh onions, mustard, celery, garlic, sugar, fresh peppers, garlic salt, and other spices. 5 oz Heat Level: 8

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docs_special.jpg Jamaica Hell Fire Doc's Special
$7.50
Allspice is the secret ingredient in this sauce. (It's also what gives that Jamaican barbecue known as "jerk" its distinctive, somewhat pungent, aromatic flavor.) Allspice is the tiny berry of the evergreen pimiento tree, native to the West Indies, best known in this country as the brown stuff that floats on top of eggnog. In Jamaica, they use the berries while they're still ripe and red. Other ingredients include sun-ripened tropical hot peppers and salt. 5 oz. Heat Level: 8

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el-yucateco.jpg El Yucateco Habanero Red
$6.00
From the Yucatan Peninsula straight to your table, this classic habanero sauce has a great smoky burn that intensifies when you cook with it but is milder when served right out of the bottle. Heat Level: 9
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daves_hurtin_habanero2.jpg Dave's Hurtin' Habanero
$7.00

How is this sauce different from any of Insane Dave's other 20 sauces? It doesn't have tomato in it. The taste is all pure chili and garlic, a little bit smoky. Excellent on any type of food. Ingredients include red chile puree, onions, habañero puree, white vinegar, garlic, salt and spices. 5 oz. Heat Level: 8


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temporary.jpg Dave's Gourmet Temporary Insanity
$7.00

As the label implies, this one tastes remarkably like its more famous counterpart but the effects are not as lingering. How can this be? Hot sauce recipes of the rich and famous are trade secrets but we can deduce a little bit of info by reading the label where ingredients are listed in order of importance. In Dave's Insanity, there's more extract than chili, but here "hot peppers" are listed before the extract. Mystery solved! Ingredients include tomato sauce, onions, hot peppers, hot pepper extract, vinegar, spices, soy oil, garlic & salt. 5 oz. Heat Level: 8


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hellfire.jpg Hellfire & Damnation
$8.00

This carrot-based sauce is a bit more oniony that its counterparts. Must be its cowboy roots – it's made by the El Paso Chili Company. Ingredients include habañero peppers, fresh carrots, onions, garlic, fresh lime juice, vinegar and salt. 5 oz. Heat Level: 8


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hot_sauce_from_hell.jpg Habañero Hot Sauce From Hell
$7.00
They say Lucifer keeps a jug of this on his desk to swig while he's processing admission forms.

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stoopid.jpg Liquid Stoopid
$8.00

Spending too much time in front of your computer taking online IQ tests and personality profiles? This sauce is for you. Ingredients include vinegar, jalapeño peppers, onion, garlic, salt, pepper extract and spices. 5 oz. Heat Level: 8


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kiss-ass.jpg Kiss Your Ass Goodbye
$6.00

'Cause judging from the big wet smacker on the delectable, be-thonged hindquarters on that picture, someone's already kissed hers.

Another sauce that combines outstanding label design with good taste – uh, make that flavor. Ingredients include habañero peppers, distilled vinegar, garlic & salt. 5 oz. Heat Level: 8


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asbiring_xtra.jpg Asbirin Extra Strength
$8.50

Because sometimes regular strength hot sauce just won't cure food blahs. Ingredients include habanero peppers, carrots, onions, garlic, key lime juice, vinegar and salt. 5 oz Heat Level: 8


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