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Weapons of Mass Destruction: Slow Burn's Hottest Hot Sauces
Here's where Saddam Hussein chucked them all. (Don't tell the inspectors!)
Important information about shipping is here.
Blair's Caldera Reserve
$1,000.00
Standing almost a foot tall and topped with a 24K gold-dipped skull in platinum wax, verily this is the Darth Vader among chili products – three (count 'em) bottles in one, totalling a mind-numbing 16 million Scoville units, or enough to make one million gallons of Chinese Chicken Salad. The ultimate chili collectible: only 499 of these babies were hatched and each one is numbered. Very rare, very sought after. Clicking on the "Add To Cart" button hereby releases Slow Burn and Gardner Resources, Inc. from all liability, indemnifies and holds harmless Slow Burn or Gardner Resources Inc. with respect to any claims of damages or injuries resulting from the use, consumption, ingestion, and/or contact with respect to this product. Heat Level: Off the charts
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The Source
$120.00
The Legend of The Source: Ancient cultures, from the Egyptians, to the Mayans and the Aztecs, were bound by a common belief...that all things good or bad are driven by energy. It is the force behind the rising sun and the shining of a nighttime star; it's responsible for precision and passion. Legend has it that the god of love held the Source of all energy. He was trusted with this responsibility by the other gods because his heart was filled with good. For millenniums he used the energy to fill the world with love.
But, a time came when the other gods quarreled amongst themselves. One after another they would come to the god of love demanding that he use the energy to serve their own selfish desires. At first he would yield to their demands, then he saw the outcome. The world was no longer filled with love...bad was beginning to prevail. He knew he had to protect the Source and not let bad grow stronger than it already had. He plotted, and deep within a long neglected pyramid he hid the Source. When the other gods came to him and demanded energy to achieve their evil deeds he told them of his defiant act. He steadfastly refused to reveal where the Source was hidden and the other gods banished him from his throne, leaving him to wander and die a mortal's death with his secret in his heart. With the Source hidden away good and bad held equal measure. After thousands upon thousands of years the Source became nothing more than a legend. Until now. In your hand is the Source. Now you have the responsibility to use the Source....Are you strong enough to face the challenge? This sauce comes with a disclaimer written on the box.
Ingredients: chili pepper oil, resin and extract. 7.1 million Scoville units. Heat Level: Magma boiling a mile into the earth's center.
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Z Nothing Beyond
$14.50
Think of this as Jump Up & Kiss Me on steroids. It's a sweet sauce that packs a tongue-numbing four million Scoville unit wallop and the usual cautions apply. This is not a hot sauce. This is a food additive only. Use one drop at a time, and avoid contact with eyes and other -- ahem! -- sensitive areas. Ingredients include vinegar, habanero peppers, pepper extract, tomatoes, mustard, papaya, guava, pineapple, banana, water, sugar, passion fruit juice, and guava juice. Heat Level: 10+++
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Black Mamba
$20.00
The Chocolate Habanero (sometimes called the Chocolate Congo) is one of hottest of the large-fruited habanero types, particularly prized throughout the Caribbean for its mushroomy, smoky flavor. It's not a common ingredient in hot sauce so Black Mamba is a good addition to any true capsaicin connoisieur's collection. Ingredients include Chocolate Habaneros, vinegar and capsaicin. 2 oz. Estimated at between 2 million and 2.5 million Scoville units.. Heat Level: 10+++
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Blair's 3 AM Reserve
$50.00
Another limited edition from the Death Wish Maestro himself: 1,500,000-2,000,000 Scoville units in a corked designer vial sealed with red and yellow Italian resin from which the infamous Blair skull grins its rictus benediction. Gift display box is included. Clicking on the "Add To Cart" button hereby releases Slow Burn and Gardner Resources, Inc. from all liability, indemnifies and holds harmless Slow Burn or Gardner Resources Inc. with respect to any claims of damages or injuries resulting from the use, consumption, ingestion, and/or contact with respect to this product. Heat Level: 10++++
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Da Bomb Final Answer
$49.00
If this is the answer, we don't want to know the question. At 1.5 million Scoville units, this potent brew of habanero peppers, pepper extract, apricot nectar, mustard flour, garlic, allspice and spices packs a split second of heavenly flavor before it detonates in your mouth. Not for direct consumption; should be used as a food additive only and very cautiously at that. 1.5 million Scoville units. Heat Level: 10+++
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Blair's Jersey Death Sauce
$16.00
The Garden State Turnpike in a bottle! Seriously though this one has a great taste for that fraction of a second before its blows out your tires. But hey! At 1.5 million Scoville units, you're not buying it for the taste. Ingredients include red habanero pods, cayenne chiles, white vinegar, natural pepper flavor, tomato puree, peri-peri chiles, pumpkin seed, lime juice, salt, and spices. 1.1 million Scoville units. Heat Level: 10+++
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Frostbite
$13.00
White hot sauce? Now you've seen everything, right? But how does it taste?
Truth be told: not so hot. Though technically this sauce packs a walloping one million Scoville units, when push comes to tongue Frostbite seems much milder. Possibly that's because it uses AquaresinŽ Capsicum, a colorless pepper extract, that doesn't blend optimally with vinegar and salt, its two other ingredients. (The story in hot sauce circles is that Frostbite's creator was trying to cook up something else entirely when he stumbled across the recipe. )
Make Frostbite your secret ingredient for a batch of killer Margaritas! If you add it to martinis, the question, "Shaken or stirred?" is simply irrelevant: you'll be both. One million Scoville units. Heat Level: 10++
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Magma
$14.00
The hot sauce that looks like a lava lamp! Fire up that ancient Country Joe vinyl, unearth that bong and pour some on your brown rice for the ultimate sixties flashback. Oleoresin of Capsicum is the floating stuff. It mixes with the base -- vinegar, salt and water -- if you shake it hard enough, but frankly it's more fun to use Da Bomb and keep this one around to look at. One million Scoville units. Heat Level: 10++
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Naga Sabi Bomb
$29.00
For many years, the world's hottest chile was thought to be the Red Savina Habanero variety which can register as high as 580,000 Scoville units. (In comparison a regular habanero can be between 100,000 and 350,000 Scoville units.)
But early in 2007 Guinness World Records certified a new heat champion, the Naga Jolokia pepper sometimes called the Ghost Chile. This pepper has been measured to be between 850,000 and 1 million Scoville units -- although it should be noted that the plant is something of a diva in terms of its growing conditions, and unless its demands are met, its fruit will be nowhere near this hot.
Naga Sabi Bomb is one of the first commercial products to be made with the Naga Jolokia pepper. While its heat exceeds many of the ultra hot sauces made with extract, it contains no extract itself. In fact, for anyone familiar with Red Savina-based sauces, this is a very different tasting experience since Naga Sabi Bomb's heat rush is immediate and continues to crescendo in your mouth for quite a few minutes afterwards. Estimated at 1 million Scoville units.. Heat Level: 10++
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Blair's 2 AM Reserve
$40.00
Blair's debut into the inferno that is concentrated capiscum extracts. Rolling Stone called it "Dresden in a bottle." (Hey! They used to employ Hunter Thompson. They know from disaster scenarios.)
Inspiration came to Blair one night back when he ran a bar & needed a little something to get the drunks out the door. He sprinkled it on buffalo wings. The rest is history! (Needless to say, kids, don't try that one at home.) Food additive only, limited edition, gift display box included. Clicking on the "Add To Cart" button hereby releases Slow Burn and Gardner Resources, Inc. from all liability, indemnifies and holds harmless Slow Burn or Gardner Resources Inc. with respect to any claims of damages or injuries resulting from the use, consumption, ingestion, and/or contact with respect to this product. 900,000 Scoville units. Heat Level: 10++
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Satan's Blood
$24.00
It's not a hot sauce, it's a food additive, and at 800,000 Scoville units, this chili extract in red wine vinegar should stay out of the kitchen – unless, of course, you happen to making salsa for Saddam Hussein's Republican Guard. Dark red and viscous in a flask-and stopper-vial recycled straight from Dr. Frankenstein's laboratory. Hotter than hell. Heat Level: 10++
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UnBEARable
$26.00
Open Fields host Jim Campbell manufactures a line of artisan hot sauces under the label Mild to Wild. UnBEARable is his hottest, made from habanero chiles, vinegar, capsaicin extract, dried chiles and natural flavorings. Don't let the bottle fool you — Smokey the Bear would not approve! 250 cc. 750,000 Scoville units. Heat Level: 10++
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Smack My Ass & Call Me Sally -- the Slap Heard Round the World
$13.00
Sure, the name is cute but a single drop will bring you to your knees. 700,000 Scoville Units. Heat Level: 10++
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Mad Dog 357 with gold bullet
$24.00
357 Mad Dog Collectors Edition packs 600,000 sizzling Scoville units into 5 little ounces. It comes with a cool gold bullet keychain and inside that bullet is a tiny spoon. In the old days we might have used that spoon for something else besides tasting hot sauce. But that was then. And this is now.
The same sauce also comes with a keychain that's shaped like a small gun (as in Happiness is a warm... If you'd prefer to purchase that, please make a note in Comments.
Ingredients include ultra pure 6,000,000 Scoville pepper extract, fiery hot habanero peppers, 160,000 Scoville super cayenne peppers, red wine vinegar, garlic, onion and evaporated cane juice. Recommended dose is a single drop and even that may be too much. Heat Level: 10++
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Pure Cap
$24.00
Concentrated capsaisin in vegetable oil. And right now you're probably asking yourself: Who in his or her right mind... ? But actually this stuff has a very legitimate culinary function: it adds heat without changing flavor. Thus, if there's a sauce whose flavor you enjoy but that's not quite hot enough for you, add half a drop of this stuff to it. You don't get that muddy flavor you get from mixing sauces! 500,000 Scoville Units
Heat Level: 10++
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Hard Time
$11.00
Two million Scoville unit oleoresin of capsaicin blended with Red Savina habaneros makes this one of the hottest sauces on the market . You don't know hot until you've done hard time! Not for effete liberals or anyone opposed to capital punishment. (But seriously folks, this one is an extract, not a sauce, and should be used one micro-drop at a time.) 400,000 Scoville units. Heat Level: 10++
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Mad Dog 357
$12.00
The dog is mad because one more Scoville unit and he coulda been a food additive. But no-o-o — those animal haters at Ashley Foods maxxed out at 357,000 Scoville units which makes him legally a sauce. Know what? Your tongue won't know the difference. Use this stuff with extreme caution. This is the hottest hot sauce around. Heat Level: 10+
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Backdraft
$11.50
Fireman Jim Campbell grows his own chiles and makes a mean habanero/whiskey mash, which he combines with twenty other herbs and spices to make this product. Caution: it is not a hot sauce, it is a food additive and should be used one drop at a time. Ingredients include Habanero mash,
brown sugar, vinegar, tomato paste, herbs, chile extract, natural flavorings and xantham gum (a natural thickener.) Not to be confused with the much milder Costa Rican sauce of the same name. Estimated Scoville units: 300,000. Heat Level: 10+
Estimated Scovilles - 300,000
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Dave's Private Reserve
$29.00
Every year the great West Coast pain-meister Dave Hirschkop -- manufacturer of what is arguably the most famous of the world's ultra hot sauces, Dave's Insanity -- formulates a special private reserve sauce, numbered, vintage dated and laid to rest in a wooden coffin wrapped in caution tape. Their heat level varies with the habanero crop that year, but generally they weigh in at around 300,000 Scoville units, and of course they get hotter and more flavorful as the reserve ages. Ingredients include Red Savina Habanero peppers, chile peppers, hot pepper extract, water, salt, passion fruit juice, lime juice, sugar, onion, and garlic. Heat Level: 10+
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Cajohn's Sauce 10
$20.00
For the tenth anniversary of his company, John Hard a/k/a Cajohn has blended the four hottest chiles on the planet to create his hot sauce masterpiece! (Those chiles, in case you're wondering, are Red Savina Habanero, Orange Habanero, Fatali Pepper and Naga Jolokia, newly certified by the Guinness World Book of Records as the world's hottest pepper.) It's blisteringly hot without the use of extract (which adds a slightly bitter, chemical flavor.)
Ingredients include fatali chiles, Red Savina habaneros, orange habaneros, onions, distilled vinegar, mustard, garlic, naga jolokia powder, black pepper, chile caribe, cayenne and a select blend of dehydrated vegetable powders. Heat Level: 10+
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Blair's Mega Death Sauce
$14.00
Molasses, guava nectar & fresh ginger are the secret ingredients behind this burn. The tastes trick your tongue — hey, this stuff's sweet, it can't be all that hot.
Oh, but it can. In fact, it's five hundred times hotter than those pickled jalapeno peppers they serve in bars to get you to buy more beer. Eliminate the middleman! Skip the saloon, shake on the sauce and score yourself a cheap six-pack at the Seven/Eleven. Comes with that cool, signature Blair skull. 296,000 Scoville units. Heat Level: 10+
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Possible Side Effects
$14.00
First created for the comedy improv group of the same name. 283,000 Scoville units but here's the punchline: this sauce derives its kick purely from its ingredients which include Red Savina habanero, cayenne, vinegar, natural pepper flavoring, orange juice, roasted green jalapeno, ground pumpkin seed and salt. In other words, unlike some other killer sauces we could name, it doesn't use chili extracts to turn up the heat. Heat Level: 10+
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Vicious Viper
$12.00
This one's fangs comes from a venomous blend of habanera & Chile de Arbol peppers, as well as vinegar, mustard, tomatoes, papaya, guava, pineapple, banana, passion fruit juice, guava juice, capsaicin extract, salt, sugar and natural spices. Keep that snake bite kit handy! 250,000 Scoville units. Heat Level: 10+
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Da Bomb Ground Zero
$15.00
Get out the Patriot missiles. When 234,000 Scoville units are mixed in pineapple juice, habanero peppers, tomato paste, natural pepper flavoring, lemon & lime juices and spices, it's time to build that nuclear shelter in your back yard. While under the heat limit for an additive and therefore technically a sauce, this one should still be used with extreme caution. 234,000 Scoville units. Heat Level: 10++
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Predator
$13.00
The strong eat the weak. That's Mother Nature's way. They attack with no warning, just sneak up behind you and take a big bite of your ass! Just like this sauce, a habanero and premium pepper extract combined with pineapple, papaya, banana,guava and real fruit juices. 175,000 million Scoville units. Heat Level: 10+
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Dave's Ultimate Insanity Sauce
$11.50
Dave's own personal entry into the Extreme Heat sweepstakes weighs in at a a lip-numbing 150,000 Scoville Units. Use one drop at a time, and keep away from pets, children & registered Libertarians. 150,000 Scoville units.. Heat Level: 10+
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Da' Bomb: Beyond Insanity
$11.00
Orange juice, habaneros, chipotle peppers, tomato paste and spices combine to create an oral sensation (and mental derrangement) that will score a "Not Guilty By Reason of..." verdict in all fifty states! 119,000 Scoville units! Keep out of reach of children or anyone you suspect may be lying about their age. 119, 700 Scoville units. Heat Level: 10+
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Blair's Sudden Death Sauce
$13.00
Just one drop and you're levitating upwards through a long white tunnel with a light at the end of it, all your family and friends reaching out their hands. Welcoming you? Nope. What they're saying is, "Buy more... " Made from red habanero pods, cayenne chilies, pure pepper resin, clover honey, key lime juice and Siberian ginseng. Plus it comes with that cool signature Blair skull! Feel alive! 105,000 Scoville units. Heat Level: 10+
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Endorphin Rush
$9.00
One buzz that's still legal. And you don't have to run half a marathon or piss off the Partnership for a Drug-Free America to get it! Just remember: a little goes a long way. Heat Level: 10+
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Spontaneous Combustion
$10.00
Habanero peppers, vinegar, capsicum extract, salt, garlic, spices and xanthan gum fuel this flame. Still, the name is something of a misnomer: you do have to put a drop in your mouth before you burst into flame. Heat Level: 10+
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Ass In the Tub: Armageddon
$13.00
The forces of evil line up against the armies of light, and they're using your tastebuds as the battlefield! But as the name suggests, this sauce is one you, uh, experience twice. Habanero peppers and African oleoresin cayenne are what give this its unique taste. If you like super-charged Cajun flavor and brutal heat, this hot sauce is for you. Heat Level: 10+
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Ass Reaper
$12.00
The white death mask and hooded cape make this sauce a must-have collectible. It's hot too! Ingredients include habanero and Scotch bonnet peppers, African olesoresin, salt, onion, vegetable oil & garlic. Heat Level: 10+
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Hazmat
$11.50
This sauce definitely meets the criteria for a hot and hazardous material! Habanero peppers, capsaicin, vinegar, and spices. Heat Level: 10+
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West African Voodoo Juice
$11.00
West African Voodoo Juice is that rare sweet-flavored ultra hot sauce, made from Red Savina mash, carrots, onions, white vinegar, brown sugar, papaya juice, pineapple juice, banana, brown rum, lime juice, pepper extract, salt and spices. And who doesn't need a 2" tall voodoo magnet to threaten their boss with, huh? Heat Level: 10+
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The Legend
$24.00
Red Savina Habanero at its hottest and most flavorful. A masterpiece from John Hard a/k/a Cajohn. Each bottled is individually numbered and signed. Ingredients include Red Savina Habaneros and vinegar. Heat Level: 10+
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